I Am Your American Girlfriend

“Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary… that’s what gets you.”

mauraforese:

Guilherme Marchi =]

mauraforese:

Guilherme Marchi =]

Epiphany via Eiffel 65

"It’s called money dependence today and people just keep on going on looking at the dollar bill and nothing else around them, no love, no friendship, nothing else just the dollar bill going on into their pocket, into their bank account…"

Idk. I find it ridiculous that there’s still people in my life who claim to love me and yet try to make me feel bad about myself because I’m not making very much money right now.

But guess what. I’m making enough. And I’m happy as fuck. Because I’m pursuing my dream and you aren’t going to make me feel inferior since you JUST NOW got your financial life together. I’m not gonna compromise my morals just to have more money in my bank account.

The money will come. But you can’t buy friends or a wife or husband or any kind of happiness (except cars, you can buy cars and cars are happiness.) I’ll have all that one day soon. And then you’ll have nothing to hold over my head.

Taking a bath and listening to Eiffel 65 before work. Don’t tell me I don’t know how to live.

“Through the black starless water,
And the cold lonely air.
On the rock restless seas,
The vessel in deep disrepair.
And I swore they started singing,
But then oh, rejoice!
I can still hear your voice.”

—   (via highwaystarmanny)
ra64freddy:

Splash Zone.

ra64freddy:

Splash Zone.

(via highwaystarmanny)

(Source: icanread)

iwouldnameitrocknrolll:

My big ball of mush

iwouldnameitrocknrolll:

My big ball of mush

(via daisyfragment)

I’ve had a lot I wanted to write recently. Mostly about how I’ve been struggling, being back in Colorado, surrounded by high school friends who are fresh out of
College with that “world is my oyster” attitude. I have friends who are doing some really cool stuff. They have dreams and they are chasing them with the unbridled vigor of somebody who has never been taken advantage of, lied to, or used. And for some reason, these people feel the need to look down on me and give me “pep talks” because they think that I’m doing nothing and going nowhere by choosing to stay in Colorado. 

But here’s the thing. 

I’ve had one dream since I was in 5th grade (or before.)  I didn’t even wait until I graduated high school until I started chasing that dream with every fiber of my being. While my fellow classmates were out at graduation parties in May of 2010, I was getting up at 3am and driving 75 miles to the racetrack to beg for a job. Every day. I went through so many times where I thought I had gotten my ‘Big Break.’ And in short, I’ve spent the last 4 and a half years, working my fingers to the bone, 7 days a week for hardly any money, only to get a fraction of an inch closer to my dream. 

Recently I’ve been beating myself up. Thinking that it was my fault that I haven’t accomplished what I want to, because I didn’t work hard enough. That I should have been able to make it happen. But now I’m realizing that that’s not true. I simply haven’t found the right situation with the right people. And after four years of working for trainers who take advantage of my work ethic, I’m tired. 

That’s why I wanted to stay in Colorado. Because I never got to have the normal after-high school life. Living with friends, going to work, going out for drinks on Friday night, having a small apartment but being able to make it your home. I’ve been moving across country every 4 months. I don’t even unpack my clothes when I get to a new track. I live in tack rooms and live minimally. That lifestyle doesn’t bother me, even when people call me a failure in life because I don’t have as much money or cars or clothes as they do. But I still feel like I missed out on a pretty fundamental experience. And it hurts me that my friends see me as a failure, and as somebody who needs an inspirational speech to get me back on my feet when they have 0 real world experience. 

I really do wish the best for my friends. I hope that they can achieve their goals without experiencing the heartache and pain that I had to go through time and time again. But I’ve learned that it doesn’t always work that way. 

But now that I’ve made the decision to stay here in my beautiful state, another opportunity practically fell into my lap. And while I am very excited about it, I want to make sure that it’s going to work out before I tell everyone. But I think that things are finally working out in a way that will be 100% beneficial to me.

I’ve had a lot I wanted to write recently. Mostly about how I’ve been struggling, being back in Colorado, surrounded by high school friends who are fresh out of
College with that “world is my oyster” attitude. I have friends who are doing some really cool stuff. They have dreams and they are chasing them with the unbridled vigor of somebody who has never been taken advantage of, lied to, or used. And for some reason, these people feel the need to look down on me and give me “pep talks” because they think that I’m doing nothing and going nowhere by choosing to stay in Colorado.

But here’s the thing.

I’ve had one dream since I was in 5th grade (or before.) I didn’t even wait until I graduated high school until I started chasing that dream with every fiber of my being. While my fellow classmates were out at graduation parties in May of 2010, I was getting up at 3am and driving 75 miles to the racetrack to beg for a job. Every day. I went through so many times where I thought I had gotten my ‘Big Break.’ And in short, I’ve spent the last 4 and a half years, working my fingers to the bone, 7 days a week for hardly any money, only to get a fraction of an inch closer to my dream.

Recently I’ve been beating myself up. Thinking that it was my fault that I haven’t accomplished what I want to, because I didn’t work hard enough. That I should have been able to make it happen. But now I’m realizing that that’s not true. I simply haven’t found the right situation with the right people. And after four years of working for trainers who take advantage of my work ethic, I’m tired.

That’s why I wanted to stay in Colorado. Because I never got to have the normal after-high school life. Living with friends, going to work, going out for drinks on Friday night, having a small apartment but being able to make it your home. I’ve been moving across country every 4 months. I don’t even unpack my clothes when I get to a new track. I live in tack rooms and live minimally. That lifestyle doesn’t bother me, even when people call me a failure in life because I don’t have as much money or cars or clothes as they do. But I still feel like I missed out on a pretty fundamental experience. And it hurts me that my friends see me as a failure, and as somebody who needs an inspirational speech to get me back on my feet when they have 0 real world experience.

I really do wish the best for my friends. I hope that they can achieve their goals without experiencing the heartache and pain that I had to go through time and time again. But I’ve learned that it doesn’t always work that way.

But now that I’ve made the decision to stay here in my beautiful state, another opportunity practically fell into my lap. And while I am very excited about it, I want to make sure that it’s going to work out before I tell everyone. But I think that things are finally working out in a way that will be 100% beneficial to me.

Nevermind.

As I was working this morning (actually working, with actual racehorses,) I realized that I don’t give two fucks about girls behind a computer screen who have never been around a horse besides their backyard pony and feel the need to bash things and industries they know nothing about.

Seriously. If you are against horse racing, why the flying fudge are you even following me and reblogging my shit. I’m ALL about having intelligent, adult conversations with people who want to discuss racing and learn about what actually happens on the track, but if your only source of information is PETA activists who go on rampages, then I have no desire to have any interaction with you as a person.